be still

I was talking with a very wise woman today and she told me the most clever thing "be still, and let God." Usually it annoys me when people are blahh God, because I've heard it all before. And yes, I have heard that before, but it never hit me like today. I really do need to be still right now. Last year was just such a tough year all around I just need to take a break. Have no commitments. Just school and my volunteer work. I really need to learn to say no to people. I just don't know how. That sounds silly. Everyone should know how to say no, right? Of course, I can muster the word out of my mouth, but I can not use it in real life situations. I'm too much of a people pleaser, I always have been. I never want anyone to be upset, so if they ask me to do something or lead something I just say yes. Which is awful, because then it hurts me. Like the place I volunteer at the first day I went there. They were have their fundraiser committee meeting and I put in my two cents, then they were like oh my God sent you to us. You cannot say things like that to me. I take things very literally so I was like oh crap now I have to do this. And I thought it would be ok, but I don't need that right now. I need some time not to have worries. This may not make sense to some people but that's okay. The positive thing is (by the way I really think the word positive should have two s's because positive is such a strong word adding another s would give it more oomph) I am learning this now. So hopefully this insight will help me act on it.

I have another thing on my mind, well of course I do I have 500 things on my all the time. I really want to know when guys stopped being gentlemen? Tonight I went to a restaurant and I had to wait for my table. I was standing for 20 minutes or so before a man offered me his chair. I realize in this day and age people think this is not necessary. But what I would like to know is when did it stop? Are men just not being taught to open the door for women? To always let a woman go before no matter if you are in a rush? To always offer a woman or elder your chair if they are standing? My sons will not be raised with this nonsense of not having proper etiquette. However I must say it is not only the men who have lost their manners. Women have too this is for certain. I know I am guilty of this as well, but I really do try to have manners and proper etiquette. This is something that is very important to me, and if someone ever thought I did not hold this trait I would be very disappointed. I would like to know who thought it appropriate for women to swear? I mean again I know I do have a few slip of the tongues. But what guy wants to hear his girlfriend cussing like a sailor? If he does, I do not want to meet him. For that matter, I do not think it is appropriate for men to curse in front of women. This is probably unheard of. But guaranteed if you are to spend very much time with me at all I will be sure to let you know that it is not appropriate. When did everyone get so lazy? Our language is not pretty, it does not flow like it does in such books as dPride and Prejudice. Perhaps I should move to England, at least if they do not speak well it sounds better than the English of America. I always say this, but I really do not understand why I was born during this time period. I would be ever so happy to communicate by letters. I wish I could trade places with my grandma and relive her childhood. At least then I would be thinking the same way as my time period. I am the odd ball. No one cares about things that are so important to me. Which means, I am often let down because no one meets these simple expectations. Because they were not taught to think this way. I know one guy who I would consider to be up these standards. One! That is just preposterous. Well this all for my rant tonight.