first of all let me say i cannot remember the last time i was this happy. my goodness and i'm really not even quite sure why i am, but i frankly do not care! i wake up with a smile on my face, i have been enjoying everyday. my goodness i'm excited to go to school, which i can honestly say i don't think that has happened. i love my teachers, i've already made friends. all this time i've thought that i was such an introverted little girl that no one wanted to be around. and i mean i'm not really sure if people do, but i seem to make friends quite easily. and oh my goodness i'm finally confident again and it's not fake confidence this time it's really real. i'm nt afraid to make a fool of myself. i mean don't get me wrong it will probably be a long time (and it might be never) before i can speak in front of people and be ok with it. but still it just feels amazing. i don't want it to end, i don't like to think of it but i mean it is reality that all good things must come to and end. i'll endure some trial. then it'll be good again. that's life. but i am soaking up the goodness now am i ever. the weather has been just beautiful, perfect, sunshine with a hint of a chill. birds singing. my dogs are so much happier now too. i didn't even realize that my mood really affects them. now that i am so chipper they follow right along. i enjoy their company so much, i'm sure it sounds silly. but really they are so much fun, i can always be myself around them and i know they're dogs but still. i'm one of those crazies that believes they get us more than we realize.
there's really only one thing i've been thinking about that isn't as happy but i mean it's not really that big of a deal. see it seems like all these people around my age are getting married. at first i was sad and i was like what the heck i haven't even been in a relationship in like over 3 years. but then i started to really think and my goodness they scare the hell out of me. i am terrified to be in a relationship. 1 because well let's be honest i don't have the slightest idea about how any of that stuff works. 2 i'm so free right now and i don't want to be put in a cage. i can't even believe i just said that haha my whole life has been based around how much i want to get married. but i'm just now learning to be myself and i don't want someone to take that from me. unless they're as crazy as me then we'll talk but still no cages. the other thing is man oh man we're all so young why waste it. i mean if thats what they want to do who am i to stop them. and i'm sure if i was in their position i'd be doing the same. but i don't know haha. seriously i can't even tell when a guy is interested in me if they even are so i just assume they aren't oh man. who ever my next guy is he is in for a trip lol. anyways. see i really don't write when i get happy because i don't know what to say and then i just babble like i'm doing now. but ahhh seriously it's kind of nice. i try telling people how happy i am and they just don't get. i really just feel like screaming. it's almost like i'm in love. but that can't be because i really don;t know who i would be in love with. and i'm pretty sure if you're in love you know who the person it, i mean maybe not haha it's not like i'm a genius in that area at all. anyways. i just can't wait to go to a&m. it's going to be so fun. they have a sailing team which i want to do so bad! of course i've never sailed before but that's ok i'll just learn. oh there are just so many things i want to do. well i will end this before i repeat the entire thing i just said!
*yaya*
"Now our blood flows through eachother as is done for all eternity, loyal forever, we raise our voices in the words of Mumbo Gumbo... YA YA! "-that's for Lina if she reads this!
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